Baltimoron in DC
When You Get Caught Between Charm City and Chocolate City

Post Carnage Report

In thrilling BSSC action, the Rhymes with Orange got obliterated by a team wearing black t-shirts and hatred in their eyes, 22 – 0. The Oranges put on a valiant effort, with a gutsy performance by Sauce, with a couple of fantastic catches and a touchdown-saving interception near the end zone. However, thanks to tough plays by The Guy in the Khaki Shorts, The Kinda Pudgy Guy, and their all-star performer, That Really Good Girl We Can’t Cover, the team in black shirts were no trouble for the Oranges.

Informal team awards:

1) The “I Am Not Hungover; I’m Still Drunk From The Night Before” award goes to Christy. That girl wasbuttered.

2) The “I’m Just Here for the Apres-Game Pain Killers” goes to Dave, who valiantly QB’d despite a bad wing.

3) “The Weekly Enforcer” award goes to Lexi, for damned near knocking my ass out with a well-placed headbutt. For the record – no more crossing patterns for me. Only the out and posts, babe. Maybe a slant ifI’m feeling frisky. But I need to make it through this life with my full, pouty lips in one piece. Side note – good thing I’m not a deejay right now. My lip swelled so large Saturday night, I’d have done a whole show doing a Mushmouth impersonation from Fat Albert and Cosby Kids.

4) The “Psuedophederin” award goes to Shannon, for playing despite a nasty sinus infection.

5) The “Most Confusing Shout-Out” goes to Laura and Lauren, because I had a busticated lip, and I couldn’t enuciate in my normal, clear, broadcast-quality voice. So, sorry if I couldn’t say your names clearly enough.

Special appropos to the team who played before us with that Bernese Mountain Dog puppy, who may very well bethe cutest dog I’ve ever seen. Sorry, Kramer – you’re a sweet dog and all, but damn that dog was cool.

Next week signals the return of the Chosen people, notto mention those lushes in Vega$$$. – me


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