Baltimoron in DC
When You Get Caught Between Charm City and Chocolate City

I posted on craigslist about a pretty lady

my vote – The woman from the commercials. Always wears the orange and white outfits, resembling an adorable human creamcicle with a wonderful speaking voice.

I went to the website, wondering if they had an info or more photos of her. Just a tiny lil’ jpeg meshed into their logo. OS – you’re missing a golden opportunity here. You’re what irks me about the whole new-style mentality – y’all are so concerned about selling “products” and making “profits” that you’re not giving the web community what it needs most – a chance to develop a crush on a completely unattainable woman. Give us a photo shoot (tastefully done, mind you) in all her cute widdle orange and white outfits. Maybe some streaming media — “Making of The Commercials.” I’m not asking for a home address or phone number, heavens no, just, well, I don’t know…maybe an official fan club? Is that too much to ask?

I’m tellin’ ya, she could be bigger than the “Where’s the Beef?” woman, bigger than Ali Landry’s Doritos ads…hell, she could be the 21st Century Snapple Lady! Stop paying attention to those Wall Street / Booz Allen-types who say the key to business is a positive revenue stream. Forget the marketers who got their MBAs mail-ordered with steak knives and their mantra of “stay on message.” More of the woman.

Create some hype. Get some buzz. Do you have any idea the number of young men, with seemingly no prospects for a loving relationship with a real, attainable woman due to years of numbing media messages that every woman needs to be Cindy Crawfords’ better – looking – younger – thinner – bustier- smarter – sister that would pay good hard currency just to be in the same state as the pitchwoman?

Well, ok, so, me, and, I might not be a growth demographic, but, damn, hook a brother up.


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